i. “Ideas have consequences, and totally erroneous ideas are likely to have destructive consequences.” (Steve Allen)

ii. “I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.” (Oscar Wilde, An Ideal Husband)

iii. “[Sir Robert Chiltern:] No one should be entirely judged by their past.
[Lady Chiltern, sadly:] One’s past is what one is. It is the only way by which people should be judged.” (-ll-)

iv. “Extremists think “communication” means agreeing with them.” (Leo Rosten)

v. “The purpose of life is not to be happy at all. It is to be useful, to be honorable. It is to be compassionate. It is to matter, to have it make some difference that you lived.” (-ll-)

vi. “Don’t commit suicide, because you might change your mind two weeks later.” (Art Buchwald)

vii. “I honestly believe it is better to know nothing than to know what ain’t so.” (Josh Billings)

viii. “Better make a weak man your enemy than your friend.” (-ll-)

ix. “I hate plays. I’ve never seen the point of paying money to watch people shout a lot and pretend to die, and now that I’m the father of three young children I don’t have to.” (Tim Moore)

x. “Any given generation gives the next generation advice that the given generation should have been given by the previous generation but now it’s too late.” (Roy Blount, Jr.)

xi. “People don’t necessarily want or need to be done unto as you would have them do unto you. They want to be done unto as they want to be done unto.” (-ll-)

xii. “From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.” (Groucho Marx, on S. J. Perelman’s novel Dawn Ginsbergh’s Revenge)

xiii. “I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and read a good book.” (Groucho Marx)

xiv. “This is my perspective and has always been my perspective on life: I have a very grim, pessimistic view of it. I always have, since I was a little boy. It hasn’t gotten worse with age or anything. I do feel that it’s a grim, painful, nightmarish, meaningless experience, and that the only way that you can be happy is if you tell yourself some lies and deceive yourself.” (Woody Allen)

xv. “It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” (-ll-)

xvi. “Nine-tenths of the value of a sense of humor in writing is not in the things it makes one write but in the things it keeps one from writing. […] without knowing what is funny, one is constantly in danger of being funny without knowing it.” (Robert Benchley)

xvii. “Only the mediocre are always at their best.” (Jean Giradoux)

xviii. “The world is divided into people who do things and people who get the credit. Try, if you can, to belong to the first class. There’s far less competition.” (Dwight Morrow)

xix. We are all inclined to judge ourselves by our ideals; others by their acts.  (-ll-)

xx. Who speaks the truth stabs Falsehood to the heart. (James Russell Lowell)


August 16, 2015 - Posted by | Quotes/aphorisms


  1. We are all inclined to judge ourselves by our ideals; others by their acts.  (-ll-)

    So right!


    Comment by tskraghu | August 17, 2015 | Reply

    • I agree – and I think this is an important insight to keep in mind.

      We probably can’t change the fact that we do this, but we can at least try to remember that we are behaving in this manner.

      Comment by US | August 17, 2015 | Reply

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