E-mails from an A**hole
Yesterday I came across this website. Unlike 99.9 % of the stuff I post here, I’m actually not 100 percent sure if the link is NSFW – it probably depends on where you work but if you want to be sure don’t click the link. Not science, not a place to learn stuff – so if that’s what you’re here for; come back later, there’ll be plenty of that stuff later. I was arguing a long time with myself about whether I should link to this or not.
Some of them reminded me of the letters in Eric Ericson’s Brev till Utlandet which I’ve previously blogged here, though I’m not sure Ericson would like that comparison (the blogger is on a whole different level of hyperbole, rudeness, obnoxiousness ect.).
I thought the best of them were really, really funny and I decided to post a couple of examples:
“From Alex Mcgob to ***********@***********.org
Hey! I am interested in renting your place, it sounds awesome! I can pay straight cash every month. Just don’t ask where it comes from.
A little bit about myself, I am 22, and love having fun! I saw you are avid movie watchers, which is great because I have a large collection of [*]. I don’t really like cleaning, so I will expect people to clean after me. I have 5 german shepherds, but don’t worry, they are cool. I have a habit of eating any food I find, but I’ll try to restock the fridge with tap water at least once a week. I love playing the bagpipes, and I usually play them every night for a few hours.
Now I just wanted to let you know, I am a bit of an alcoholic. I drink every night until I black out and am often loud and obnoxious. I don’t have a car because I am currently sorting out my 3rd DUI, so is it cool if I borrow a car if I need to run to the liquor store or something? I’ll make sure I put some gas in it.
Some people have complained that I don’t shower, but my minor odor is nothing compared to the amount of money you will be saving on water.
I look forward to hearing from you!
[* word erased to avoid getting my blog caught in word filters used to block sites in workplace environments – it starts with a p, the next letter is an o…]
“This was in response to an ad for a guy looking for a parking pass to the Eagles/Giants game last season at Giant’s Stadium. I don’t think he actually looked at the parking pass I sent him. If he did try to use it, he’s a retard.
Timmy Tucker to ****************@***********.org
Hi there! I have season parking passes to the game and would be willing to give up my parking pass for this one because I am taking a cab to the game. I will sell it for $25.
I scanned a picture of it here if you are interested:
Please let me know!
Go Eagles! Fuck the Cowboys!
MATTHEW *************** to Me
Hey that sounds great! Do you think that maybe you could get me one for my friend too? He is going to the Carolina Arizona game and if you could get one for him, I would gladly give you 60 for the pair.”
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