Mansfield Park

I’m currently reading this. If you’re able to read stuff like this online (I’m not), the entire book is available here. A few quotes from some of the first chapters:

i) “there certainly are not so many men of large fortune in the world as there are pretty women to deserve them.”

ii) “‘I must tell you another thing of Fanny, so odd and so stupid. Do you know, she says she does not want to learn either music or drawing.’
‘To be sure, my dear, that is very stupid indeed, and shows a great want of genius and emulation.’”

iii) “Lady Bertram did not at all like to have her husband leave her; but she was not disturbed by any alarm for his safety, or solicitude for his comfort, being one of those persons who think nothing can be dangerous or difficult, or fatiguing to anybody but themselves.”

iv) “Being now in her twenty-first year, Maria Bertram was beginning to think matrimony a duty; and as a marriage with Mr Rushworth would give her the enjoyment of a larger income than her father’s, as well as ensure her the house in town, which was now a prime object, it became, by the same rule of moral obligation, her evident duty to marry Mr Rushworth if she could.”

v) “‘If this man had not twelve thousand a year, he would be a very stupid fellow.’”

vi) “‘I pay very little regard,’ said Mrs Grant, ‘to what any young person says on the subject of marriage. If they profess a disinclination for it, I only set it down that they have not yet seen the right person.’ [...] ‘I would have everybody marry if they can do it properly; I do not like to have people throw themselves away; but everybody should marry as soon as they can do it to advantage.’”

vii) “‘An engaged woman is always more agreeable than a disengaged. She is satisfied with herself. Her cares are over, and she feels that she may exert all her powers of pleasing without suspicion. All is safe with a lady engaged; no harm can be done.’”

viii) “‘Girls should be quiet and modest.’”

ix) “‘Captain Marshall? You have a large acquaintance in the navy, I conclude?’
‘Among admirals, large enough; but,’ with an air of grandeur, ‘we know very little of the inferior ranks. Post captains may be very good sort of men, but they do not belong to us.’”

…

Almost 200 years have passed. Reading books like Austen’s makes it much easier to appreciate just how much modern societies stand to lose by not defending their values and their culture. Treat women like crap? We’ve already been there. We’ve almost always been there. And it took a lot of hard work and fights to go ‘someplace else’. How much work it took is easier to appreciate once you realize how new many of the ‘default positions’ of people with a Western mindset today are, and how revolutionary they must have been when they were first introduced into the collective meme-space.

It’s always somewhat problematic to draw any kinds of wide-ranging conclusions about ‘societal matters’ based on fictional accounts, I know, but I still think it’s worth remembering that there are many people today living in Western countries who have attitudes towards women that likely would(/’ve) be(/en) considered barbaric by the people quoted above – by people for whom it is completely natural that a female’s main role in society is and ought to be to i) look nice (like a piece of furniture) and behave nicely in order to ii) get married to someone rich, or at the very least ‘a proper match’, and iii) get some children; and for whom a ‘natural result’ of an ‘imprudent marriage’ might be for a young girl to break off contact with her own sister and pretty much never talk to her again. That’s how far some of them have to go. If we allow individuals like those to dictate how we treat women, we’ll have a very long way to go too before long.

Sense and Sensibility

First novel in the book. I’ll skip the next as I’ve previously read Pride and Prejudice.

I liked it, I think in general if you like the one you’ll like the other. A few quotes, I’ve done my best to not include spoilers:

1. “‘I could not be happy with a man whose taste did not in every point coincide with my own.’ [...] ‘the more I know of the world, the more am I convinced that I shall never see a man whom I can really love. I require so much!’”

2. “Mrs Jennings was a widow, with an ample jointure. She had only two daughters, both of whom she had lived to see respectably married, and had now therefore nothing to do but to marry all the rest of the world.”

3. “It would be an excellent match, for he was rich and she was handsome.”

4. “‘A woman of seven and twenty,’ said Marianne, after pausing a moment, ‘can never hope to feel or inspire affection again [...]‘”

5. “‘Brandon is just the kind of man,’ said Willoughby one day, when they were talking of him together, ‘whom everybody speaks well of, and nobody cares about; whom all are delighted to see, and nobody remembers to talk to.’”

6. “‘I have no wish to be distinguished; and I have every reason to hope I never shall. Thank Heaven! I cannot be forced into genious and eloquence.’
‘You have no ambition, I well know. Your wishes are all moderate.’
‘As moderate of those of the rest of the world, I believe. I wish as well as everybody else to be perfectly happy; but like everybody else it must be in my own way. Greatness will not make me so.’”

7. “‘Shyness is only the effect of a sense of inferiority in some way or other. If I could persuade myself that my manners were perfectly easy and graceful, I should not be shy.’”

8. “‘How charming it will be,’ said Charlotte, ‘when he [her husband, Mr Palmer] is in Parliament! – won’t it? How I shall laugh! It will be so ridiculous to see all his letters directed to him with an MP – But do you know, he says, he will never frank for me? He declares he won’t. Don’t you, Mr Palmer?’ [note that his wife calls him Mr Palmer]
Mr Palmer took no notice of her.
‘He cannot bear writing, you know,’ she continued; ‘he says it is quite shocking.’
‘No,’ said he, ‘I never said anything so irrational. Don’t palm all your abuses of language upon me.’
‘There now; you see how droll he is. This is always the way with him! Sometimes he won’t speak to me for half a day together, and then he comes out with something so droll – all about anything in the world.’ [...] ‘Mr Palmer is just the kind of man I like.’”

9. “‘I hope he will come tonight. It will be all to one a better match for your sister. Two thousand a year without debt or drawback – except the little love-child; aye, I had forgot her; but she may be ‘prenticed out at small cost, then what does it signify? Delaford is a nice place, I can tell you; exactly what I call a nice old-fashioned place, full of comforts and conveniences; quite shut in with great garden walls that are covered with the best fruit trees in the country; and such a mulberry tree in one corner! Lord! how Charlotte and I did stuff the only time we were there! Then, there is a dovecote, some delight stew ponds, and a very pretty canal; and everything, in short, that one could wish for; and, moreover, it is close to the church, and only a quarter of a mile from the turnpike road, so ’tis never dull, for if you only go and sit up in an old yew arbour behind the house, you may see all the carriages that pass along.’ [...]” [notice anything missing in that explanation as to why that man was a better match for the sister than the other guy? If you need a hint, go back and read 8 again.]

10. “‘A man who has nothing to do with his own time has no conscience in his intrusion on that of others.’”

11. “There was a kind of cold hearted selfishness on both sides, which mutually attracted them; and they sympathised with each other in an insipid propriety of demeanour, and a general want of understanding.”

12. “Elinor agreed to it all, for she did not think he deserved the compliment of rational opposition.”

13. [they are discussing a marriage:] “Elinor, smiling at the grave and decisive importance of her brother’s tone, calmly replied, ‘The lady, I suppose, has no choice in the the affair.’
‘Choice! How do you mean?’
‘I only mean, that I suppose from your manner of speaking, it must be the same to ['A'] whether she marry ['B'] or ['C'].’
‘Certainly, there can be no difference; for ['A'] will now to all intents and purposes be considered as the eldest son – and as to anything else, they are both very agreeable young men, I do not know that one is superior to the other.’”

Pride and Prejudice

I felt like I ought to write a post about the book, I’ve neglected book posts for a while, mostly because I haven’t read all that much but also because I just didn’t feel like it. I got Dilbert 2.0 for Christmas and I’ve read nothing else since December 24th. I completed it last night, but I probably won’t post anything related to that book here. It’s great, if you like Scott Adams’ cartoon it’s a book you ought to own.

Quotes from Austen below. Quote 5 and forward contain spoilers to some degree, if you feel like reading the book soon or you have an eidetic memory I’d advise you to not read past that point, even though none of the quotes answer the two questions you are most likely to be asking yourself while reading the last 50-100 pages:

…

1. ‘Pride,’ observed Mary, [...] ‘is a very common failing I believe. By all that I have ever read, I am convinced that it is very common indeed, that human nature is particularly prone to it, and that there are very few of us who do not cherish a feeling of self-complacency on the score of some quality or other, real or imaginary. Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us.’ (p.14)

2. ‘I wish Jane success with all my heart; and if she were married to him tomorrow, I should think she had as good a chance of happiness, as if she were to be studying his character for a twelvemonth. Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance. If the dispositions of the parties are ever so well known to each other, or ever so similar beforehand, it does not advance their felicity in the least. They always continue to grow sufficiently unlike afterwards to have their share of vexation; and it is better to know as little as possible of the defects of the person with whom you are to pass your life.’ (p.16)

3.’Nothing is more deceitful’, said Darcy, ‘than the appearance of humility. It is often only carelessness of opinion, and sometimes an indirect boast.’ (p.33)

4.’Oh! Mr. Bennet, you are wanted immediately; we are all in an uproar. You must come and make Lizzy marry Mr Collins, for she vows she will not have him, and if you do not make haste he will change his mind and not have her.’ (p.77. ‘If neither want to marry the other then what’s the problem?’ you might ask. This is England in the beginning of the 19th century. That’s the problem.)

5. ‘I tell you what, Miss Lizzy, if you take it into your head to go on refusing every offer of marriage in this way, you will never get a husband at all – and I am sure I do not know who is to maintain you when your father is dead. – I shall not be able to keep you – and so I warn you. – I have done with you from this very day. – I told you in the library, you know, that I should never speak to you again, and you will find me as good as my word. I have no pleasure in talking to undutiful children.’ (p.79. Imagine a parent making the same speech today.)

6. [3 days after Mr Collins' marriage proposal to Lizzy, he proposed to Charlotte Lucas:] ‘Sir William and Lady Lucas were speedily applied to for their consent; and it was bestowed with a most joyful alacrity. Mr Collins’s present circumstances made it a most eligible match for their daughter, to whom they could give little fortune; and his prospects of future wealth were exceedingly fair. Lady Lucas began directly to calculate with more interest than the matter had ever excited before, how many years longer Mr Bennet was likely to live… The whole family in short were properly overjoyed on the occasion. The younger girls formed hopes of coming out [US: get married] a year or two sooner than they might otherwise have done; and the boys were relieved from their apprehension of Charlotte’s dying an old maid. Charlotte herself was tolerably composed. She had gained her point, and had time to consider of it. Her reflections were in general satisfactory. Mr Collins to be sure was neither sensible nor agreeable; his society was irksome, and his attachment to her must be imaginary. But still he would be her husband. – Without thinking highly either of men or matrimony, marriage had always been her object; it was the only honorable provision for well-educated young women of small fortune, and however uncertain of giving happiness, must be their pleasantest preservative from want. This preservative she had now obtained; and at the age of twenty-seven [judging from the book, at that point in time most women were married long before they reached that age - take this quote for instance: 'Jane will be quite an old maid soon, I declare. She is almost three and twenty!' Lydia, p.149], without having ever been handsome, she felt all the good luck of it.’ (p. 85. The woman who’s about to marry the guy think of him that way, the woman who rejected him is more blunt: ‘Mr Collins is a conceited, pompous, narrow-minded, silly man’ (p.93). I agree with the latter description of the guy, based on what’s in the book, though I’d add a few modern terms such as ‘dirtbag’ and ‘asshole’ after having read the guy’s letter to Mr Bennet regarding the Lydia affair, later in the book.)

7. ‘Had Elizabeth’s opinion been all drawn from her own family, she could not have formed a very pleasing picture of conjugal felicity or domestic confort. Her father, captivated by youth and beauty, and that appearance of good humour, which youth and beauty generally give, had married a woman whose weak understanding and illiberal mind, had very early in their marriage put an end to all real affection for her. Respect, esteem, and confidence, had vanished for ever; and all his views of domestic happiness were overthrown.’ (p.159)

8. ‘But can you think that Lydia is so lost to everything but love of him, as to consent to live with him on any other terms than marriage?’
‘It does seem, and it is most shocking indeed,’ replied Elizabeth, with tears in her eyes, ‘that a sister’s sense of decency and virtue in such a point should admit of doubt. But really, I know not what to say.’ (p.189. Oh yes, living with a man without being married? The horror! But things were different back then. Very different…)

9. ‘The engagement between them is of a peculiar kind. From their infancy, they have been intended for each other. [...] While in their cradles, we planned the union: and now, at the moment when the wishes of [the people planning the union] would be accomplished, in their marriage, to be prevented by a young woman of inferior birth, of no importance in the world, and wholly unallied to the family! Do you pay no regard to the wishes of his friends? To his tacit engagement [...]? Are you lost to every feeling of propriety and delicacy? Have you not heard me say, that from his earliest hours he was destined for [the other woman]?’ (p.238)